


The Remains of the Late Morning (a 221B +)

by RobinMistySaddle



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Just super porn-y, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Retirement, Retirementlock, Sex Toys, Smut, Vaginal Sex, author's questionable use of alternative narrative structure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:13:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9706892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinMistySaddle/pseuds/RobinMistySaddle
Summary: Getting old isn't all that it's cracked up to be





	1. The Remains of the Late Morning (a 221B)

“Ow,” John said, and stopped. “I’ve got to switch positions.”

“Are you sure?” Mary asked, squeezing him teasingly.

“Yeah,” he nodded, not really wanting to move. “Hip, thigh, knee. You know how it is. I’m old.”

“Does this mean I need to move too?” Sherlock asked from behind him, his hands on John’s hips, cock still inside John.

Mary looked over John’s shoulder at Sherlock. “Get off,” she commanded.

“I think that’s the entire purpose of this act,” Sherlock deadpanned but pulled out of John. John gingerly flopped down on the bed next to Mary. 

“Are you ok?” Mary asked, gently stroking John’s cheek.

John nodded. “Yeah, just things don’t operate as well as they used to.”

Sherlock had already taken John’s place, rubbing himself against Mary’s clit, making her sigh. After a couple minutes, Mary asked, “Are you going to put it in?”

“Just a very slight problem,” he said, looking up at Mary.

Mary rolled her eyes. “John.”

“Right. On it.” John rolled up and took Sherlock into his mouth, feeling him swell. John popped him out of his mouth and Sherlock thrust into Mary.

John slid his hand down Mary’s stomach and caressed both her and Sherlock. John leaned down as Mary started to lift her head to kiss him, but winced and dropped her head. “My back.”


	2. The Remains of the Late Morning Redux (Another Story)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting old isn't all that it's cracked up to be

“Ow,” John said, and stopped. “I’ve got to switch positions.”

“Are you sure?” Mary asked, squeezing him teasingly.

“Yeah,” he nodded, not really wanting to move. “Hip, thigh, knee. You know how it is. I’m old.”

“Does this mean I need to move, too?” Sherlock asked from behind him, his hands on John’s hips, cock still inside John.

Mary looked over John’s shoulder at Sherlock. “Get off,” she commanded.

“I think that’s the entire purpose of this act,” Sherlock deadpanned but pulled out of John. John gingerly flopped down on the bed next to Mary. 

“Are you ok?” Mary asked, gently stroking John’s cheek.

John nodded. “Yeah, just things don’t operate as well as they used to.”

Sherlock had already taken John’s place, rubbing himself against Mary’s clit, making her sigh. After a couple minutes, Mary asked, “Are you going to put it in?”

“Just a very slight problem,” he said, looking up at Mary.

Mary rolled her eyes. “John.”

“Right. On it.” John rolled up and took Sherlock into his mouth, feeling him swell. John popped him out of his mouth and Sherlock thrust into Mary.

John slid his hand down Mary’s stomach and caressed both her and Sherlock. John leaned down as Mary started to lift her head to kiss him, but winced and dropped her head. “My back.”

_Ten minutes earlier_

When Mary came back out, she found John and Sherlock hadn’t waited for her. John was on his hands and knees and Sherlock was behind him, taking him hard, making him grunt with each thrust. She slid under John, carefully maneuvering around his arms and legs so that she wouldn’t interrupt Sherlock’s rhythm. “Mmmm, my sexy boys.” 

She took hold of John’s cock and rubbed his rock hard member against her. John let Sherlock’s thrusts push him forward so he slid back into Mary. He gently fell forward onto her and began pumping his hips while Sherlock held still, just holding his hips to guide him.

Mary pushed John’s head down to her breast. Sherlock resumed fucking John, but not as hard as he had been before, still letting him do most of the work. Mary moaned loudly as John lapped and nibbled at her nipples. “Mmmmm. It’s so good.”

_Fifteen minutes earlier_

“Are we just going to chat about the use of sex toys,” Sherlock asked, a little annoyed, “Or are we going to fuck?”

“Come here,” Mary said gently to Sherlock, pulling him against her. She began kissing John and then Sherlock, back and forth between the two. Their hands explored each other and Mary as well.

John rolled Mary on top of him. Her legs fell on either side of his hips so she could rub against him, feeling his hard cock against her clit. Sherlock moved behind them and taking John’s cock, gently pulled it up so it was nestled against Mary’s wetness. Mary sat up a little and moaned as John tilted his hips and began probing before sliding slowly deep into her. She lay back down on John and enjoyed him slowly thrusting in and out of her.

Sherlock grabbed her plug, and with a slow twisting motion, gently pulled it from her only to quickly slip into her. He carefully propped himself up with his arms so he wouldn’t put too much weight on the two of them. He could feel the pressure of John’s cock sliding in and out of Mary. Mary began to clutch at the sheets when Sherlock began to move.

Sherlock briefly leaned over Mary and kissed John. Mary lifted herself slightly so she could kiss John, but also lifted her hips to meet their rhythmic thrusts better.

She stopped kissing John. “Umm, guys?”

John looked up at her, slowly his pace but not stopping entirely. “Hmm?”

“I was just so excited seeing you two, I, umm, forgot I had a cuppa while I was out, and...” she said.

Sherlock slowly withdrew. “Go. Come on.” He sat back as Mary climbed off John and hurried into the bathroom.

_Five minutes earlier_

“Don’t let Mary’s attitude fool you,” Sherlock said, as his hand slid along Mary’s ass. “She started even before us.” Sherlock’s finger pressed against her plug, making it wiggle and eliciting a soft moan from her. He looked at her. “If I keep going, I’m going to guess you’re very ready for us.”

“How did you know?” She kissed Sherlock, her tongue gently probing.

“You left the lube on the bathroom counter,” Sherlock said, tugging at it gently, making her shudder.

“Is that what made you decide to put yours in?” She asked Sherlock. She snuggled up against John, and then looking at him, asked, “And I suppose you did as well?”

“How did you know?” John grinned.

“His ass was high in the air,” she gestured at Sherlock, “So I could see that he had his in. And you always do what he does.”

_Two minutes earlier_

“Don’t ‘Hi’ me,” Mary admonished them, as she kicked off her shoes. “Put in your hearing aids, the both of you. It’s what they’re there for.” She started to undo the buttons of her blouse. “Why is it that the two of you always start without me?”

John stammered, “Well, umm, Sherlock...he just...”

“Don’t bother,” she said playfully. Her slacks followed the blouse to the floor and then her bra and knickers. “Do you want me to put anything on, or...?”

Sherlock held out his hand to Mary. “As lovely as that would be to see, at this point, it would just come right off anyway.”

Mary took Sherlock’s hand and climbed onto the bed with them. “If you two ever want to wait for me to get here, I’ll put on one of those naughty outfits taking up space in the closet.” She kissed Sherlock and then she kissed John and grabbed his cock and squeezed it firmly. John moaned with pleasure.

_Five minutes earlier_

“Boys, I’m home,” Mary called, dropping the keys on the table next to the front door. After a stop at the village library to return the mysteries Sherlock had out for much too long, and of course pay the fines, she had met up with Harry at the local café for tea and scones. It had been a pleasant morning so far.

“Boys?” She slipped off her coat and hung it on the wall between Sherlock’s and John’s. She peeked into the kitchen, which was empty, and briefly considered making another cuppa, but instead made her way back to the bedrooms. John was sitting upright against the headboard, naked. “For the record,” he announced as she walked in, “I thought I had heard something and told him as much.” He gestured to Sherlock, who was between John’s legs, bobbing his head up and down.

Sherlock sat up, John’s hard cock sliding out of his mouth with a slurp and now was pointing straight upward. “Oh, hi, Mary.” He turned to look at her.

_Back to the present_

Sherlock stopped his thrusting. “Do you want to do something else?”

Mary nodded. “Yeah. Maybe you should.” She teased Sherlock, squeezing his cock, before he too reluctantly pulled out and lay on the opposite side of Mary. “Can you reach into the night stand?”

Sherlock twisted backward and pulled open the drawer. He fumbled around blindly before he pulled out Mary’s glass dildo. “Is this the one you want?”

She took it and rubbed it against her self before slipping it in. “Oooo. It’s a little cool.”

John and Sherlock took themselves in their hands and pumped, taking turns kissing Mary and rubbing her with their free hand. 

“I’m close,” John announed.

“If your legs are up for it...” Mary trailed off.

“You’re a dirty girl, and I love you for it.” He carefully got up on his knees, using his free hand to brace against the headboard. “Come on,” he said, looking over at Sherlock, “You heard her. I know you’re close too.”

Sherlock knelt as well. He and John kissed as they furiously stroked their cocks before moaning and shooting all over Mary’s stomach and breasts. As she was coated with their warm, sticky come, her fingers were busy with herself, causing her legs to clamp shut tightly as she began her own orgasm.

John and Sherlock both lay down next to Mary and curled up against her. She kissed John and then Sherlock. “That was very nice.”

In the silence of their snuggling, they heard the front door open. “Mom, Dad, Dad, I’m here.” Rosie called out. The three of them began to giggle. “Oh, shit,” they heard softly, and then louder and deliberately, “OK, I’m going back out to the car to check my messages on my phone. I’ll be back in five minutes. The three of you had better be decent when I come back in.” The front door swung shut with a bang.

“I forgot to mention that Rosie was coming over to go out to lunch with us,” Mary confessed. “One of you needs to get a flannel and clean me up, because I’m not about to let all of this get all over the bed and floor.”

“Right. On it.” John popped up and headed into the bathroom with a slight limp.

“What a sexy ass,” Sherlock said softly, watching John.

“I know,” Mary responded. “It’s one of the reasons why I married him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started out as a 221B, but I decided that 221 words wouldn't do this justice, so I wrote the longer second chapter using the 221B as the starting point.
> 
> The title for the work and this chapter come from the Phineas and Ferb episodes 'Remains of the Platypus' (for the narrative stucture) and 'Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)' for the secondary story.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like what you read, check out my other works.


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